“No one diets on Thanksgiving.” — Erma Bombeck
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday for many. Many Thanksgiving traditions start the old-fashioned way, but you can start a new one in this day and age of social media.
See how many innocent things you can say, that can be interpreted with a dirty spin. Try and keep a straight face during the enormous feast on turkey day, with these Naughty Thanksgiving Quotes to keep it interesting.
We know there are lots of funny Thanksgiving quotes to say during Thanksgiving dinner, but this list is for quotes that are just a tad bit racy! Or can be! This is a list of naughty Thanksgiving quotes you can use to spice up your November.
Some of these may sound innocent, but have a double meaning – following along the lines of the classics told by Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, Phyllis Diller, Stephen Colbert, or many other amusing words of comedians.
Others are definitely not ones to say around the Thanksgiving table, but are a special happy Thanksgiving only for the eyes of your partner. It will set the mood for the day!
Starting off with the classic saying that isn’t dirty but sounds like it is – “It’s Cool Whip time!”
Check out these 40 double entendre sayings, plus five *spicy* saying you can write in a card, and the one full dirty joke to finish us off. (sorry, couldn’t help it)
What Date Does Thanksgiving Fall On This Year?
THANKSGIVING DAY IN THE UNITED STATES IS ALWAYS THE FOURTH THURSDAY IN NOVEMBER.
Thanksgiving is a time for holiday gatherings where family members come together to share love, laughter, and, of course, a bountiful feast. Pumpkin pie, carrot cake & cranberry sauce with a healthy dose of humor, will turn this into one of the best holidays of the year.
The grocery store aisles are packed as everyone scrambles to gather the essentials for their favorite Thanksgiving dishes. This is the perfect time to make some quips that sound just right for Thanksgiving, but when you think of them with your mind in the gutter – they become hilarious.
Morning stuffing bread and the appetizer tray are prepared with care, while the oven takes on the important task of cooking the turkey just right, hoping it doesn’t end up dry turkey disaster – these innocent concepts take on a whole new meaning.
Over dinner, exchange favorite Thanksgiving jokes and funny puns, just not quite as clean as the comedians on TV like Jon Stewart.
It’s common knowledge that humor and joy are the true measure of our Thanksgiving, but instead of Henry David Thoreau speaking to simple living, gratitude, and the first Thanksgiving to modern-day celebrations, you can look for every opportunity to say something off-color that will make your family roar with laughter.
Funny & Naughty Thanksgiving Quotes to Spice Things Up
Start off your quality family time by delivering one or more of these great zingers. See who can keep a straight face!
- Wow, that’s one terrific spread!
- Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
- I love it when the breast is juicy.
- Who wants the bone?
- I’m gonna burst if I don’t undo my pants.
- Are you going in for seconds?
- Are you going to come again next time?
- It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
- Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
- Blow on it!
Funny & Naughty Thanksgiving Quotes to Spice Things Up
This wonderful day can turn on a moment’s notice when one of you says one of these clever Thanksgiving messages the first time:
- You’re stuffing is the best.
- I didn’t expect it to be so moist.
- Take your time and enjoy every bite.
- I can handle a little heat.
- I hope you saved room for dessert.
- This one’s going to be hard to top.
- I’ve never seen one this big before.
- You’re making my mouth water.
- I’ve seen bigger.
- This is the best I’ve ever had.
Funny & Naughty Thanksgiving Quotes to Spice Things Up
Thanksgiving can be said to be an unchallengable American doctrine, so embrace only time of year you can say some truly hilarious quips around Grandma.
- How long do I beat it before it’s ready?
- I can’t wait to sink my teeth into that.
- It’s so hot in here!
- Make sure you baste it well.
- This is the juiciest one yet!
- Don’t worry, there’s plenty to go around.
- I hope you’re ready for a mouthful.
- I didn’t expect it to be this tender.
- It is sweet and sticky.
- I’m stuffed, but there’s always room for more.
Funny & Naughty Thanksgiving Quotes to Spice Things Up
William Shakespeare himself would be proud to hear these beautiful sentiments.
- You sure know how to handle a bird.
- This is going to be a tight squeeze.
- The more the merrier!
- This is a feast for the senses.
- Let’s make sure we get every inch covered.
- I want extra cream in my pie.
- Is it okay if I go back for thirds?
- I never knew it could taste this good.
- It’s so tender, it just falls apart.
- I’m going to need a nap after this.
Funny & Naughty Thanksgiving Quotes to Spice Things Up
If you want to start the day off a little spicy with your favorite squeeze during turkey day, you can give her a Happy Thanksgiving love quotes for her – with some extra sizzle! These five quips perfect to put in a card.
- Happy Thanksgiving – I can’t wait to gobble you up tonight.
- Happy Thanksgiving – I’ve got a bone for you to wish on.
- Happy Thanksgiving – Can’t wait for you to butter my biscuit.
- Happy Thanksgiving – It’s turkey time….gobble gobble.
- Happy Thanksgiving – I licked it, so it’s mine.
- Happy Thanksgiving – The turkey is not the only thing about to get stuffed tonight.
- Happy Thanksgiving – The table is not the only thing that will get laid today.
Funny & Naughty Thanksgiving Joke
Last but definitely not least, the best, and most raunchy, joke for the holiday season:
A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and asks for a Santa Tattoo on one inner thigh, and a thanksgiving turkey on the other. When asked why, she said – “My Husband said there isn’t anything good to eat between Thanksgiving & Christmas, so I want to change that.”
Funny & Naughty Thanksgiving Quotes to Spice Things Up
We hope you had a laugh and were inspired to make Thanksgiving lighthearted or a little extra spicy to keep things fun!
Can’t get enough Thanksgiving? You can check out our Thanksgiving section of the blog for more ideas, like the best Thanksgiving riddles to keep everyone entertained long after the turkey is gone.
Don’t forget to subscribe to the Slowestuff newsletter for year-round content! We love to talk about seasonal topics, and keep an ongoing discussion about books and scrapbooking all year long!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Slowestuff
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